Cruel World
by E. J. Noel
Summary: As a soldier, Levi had seen how the world worked. He had seen the destruction and death all around him and yet, he continued to fight. He knew that if he gave up, he would no longer have anything to live for. He had thought that she would die quickly, because her eyes had told him she was already dead. However, she was one of the few who managed to prove him wrong. - 2 chapters.
1. Chapter 1

This is a very long Oneshot I just started writing and it ended up being 19k words long so I split it into two chapters.

The story takes place between 845-850 and follows the Survey Corps on their fight for humanity.

* * *

 _Cruel World_

 _845 – Fall of Shinganshia_

 _..._

Rain hit the old windows in the hall in rough patterns, gathering together to glide down the glass and disappear from sight. Had the room not been filled with mindless murmurs, he would have been able to hear the calming sound of the destructive weather.

There was a somber mood hovering above everyone inside, but that had been the case before. Whenever there had been heavy losses, the mood would dim to create a gray and unfulfilling atmosphere.

Even with the harsh personal loss he had experienced less than a year ago, he could not ignore the mass of people who looked like they wanted to give up. Pitiful people who blamed others for what had gone wrong.

It was true that the Garrison Regimen carried a large part of the blame for the lives that had been lost, but Levi Ackerman knew that all the people in the room were to blame too.

Shinganshia had fallen shortly after they had arrived back from their scouting mission and the final act of Commander Keith Shadis had been to order them all to stand down. And they had followed orders, like sheep being locked behind a fence.

Glancing up from his teacup, Levi noticed the usually lively woman enter the room, her face set in a frown. The meeting was over and he released a deep breath when she met his eyes and gave him a small nod. Erwin had been given the position of commander like they had planned.

Mike entered right after Hange and led her towards the nearly empty Levi occupied. When they reached it and each took a seat, he was surprised to see them both keep silent. However, it would not matter if they spoke, because the table behind them was being loud.

"I mean, she just moves her family and then transfers?" one of the young men said and Levi noticed it was the three new recruits. The only ones out of the nine that had joined a month ago, whom had survived their last expedition outside the walls.

"She always was a bit stuck up. Bet she thinks she can be a hero because she grew up in Shinganshia," when the other young cadet said that, Mike perked up and turned his head around.

"Are you talking about the transfer from the Military Police?" he asked the three men, who were surprised by the interruption. Levi raised an eyebrow at Hange, who also seemed to know whom they were talking about.

"Yes sir, she's from our class," the tallest of the three said, his tone seeming like that of a jealous child. Mike shook his head and leaned back in his chair while Hange turned her head this time to speak to the brats.

"She was in Shinganshia when the wall fell," her voice seemed to waver a bit and the three new recruits looked at her in shock. One of them opened his mouth, closed it and then slapped himself on the forehead.

"Her family died, didn't they?" He asked and Mike let out a small "Yep," in response. The three younger men all carried expressions of guilt, now knowing they had assumed wrong. Levi had no idea whom they were talking about, but he knew how it was to loose the people close. In a way, he felt pity for whomever they were speaking off.

Joining the Military Police to be able to move your family to a safe place and then see them die. The world was a cruel place.

"Sir, do you know if she lost her whole family?" The tall guy asked Mike and he shrugged, "She did, but it's not my story to tell," he said and absentmindedly took a cup and filled it with tea before gesturing to Levi, who pushed his now empty cup across the table.

Hange could clearly see that he was considering the conversation and supported her elbow on the table before leaning into her open palm. "Her name is Emilia Allard," she said, but Levi in all honesty, did not care at the moment.

* * *

…

Two days passed before Levi walked up the stairs and entered the office that had just changed ownership. Erwin was looking over several papers and a young woman was sitting on the couch in the corner.

"Levi, this is cadet Allard, she has chosen to transfer from the Military Police," the blonde said without looking up from his work. Levi turned his head to look over the new soldier and the longer he looked, the more his frown grew.

She looked like someone who was already dead. Her dark hair was cut to her shoulders, framing her pale face and eyes he had seen before. She had the eyes of someone who wanted to die.

"I'm leaving you and Mike to her training, since the other cadets have already gone through the basics," Erwin said and this time, he looked up from his work. The two men shared a look before both of them turned their attention to the woman who looked to be in a comatose state.

Levi glared at the commander before crossing the floor and slapping the girl lightly on the side of the head. "Follow me, brat," he hissed and the girl blinked once before getting to her feet. She saluted Erwin and then looked to Levi with her hollow eyes.

While passing through the eating hall, where several people were still eating their breakfast, Levi noticed two of the three men who had spoken of the girl a few days prior. One of them had his eyes locked on the new recruit before he hurriedly got to his feet and ran over.

"Emilia!" he said loudly, making most of the people in the room look at them. Levi looked at the woman and noticed that she was actually a little shorter than him. Her eyes were focused on the other young man, but there was no emotion in them.

"Adrian, I heard you survived," she said, her voice uncomfortably cold. Levi had seen similar things happen with others. Braver men than the girl in front of him had been discharged from service because their minds could not handle what they had seen.

Now that she had acknowledged her old classmate, the man seemed unsure of what to say. In a strange attempt for help, he turned his head to Levi, whom had opted to just ignore the reunion.

"I see you did too," he said and Levi felt a need to roll his eyes. Of all the things to say to someone who had just lost their family, he chose to say that. Emilia nodded and then turned to Levi, "Sir," she said and he knew what she meant. Without looking back, he walked towards the door and swung it open, to let them both outside.

The sun was high on the sky, allowing Levi to immediately locate Mike, who was lying on one of the tables, enjoying the sun. When they had gotten close, Mike sat up and looked towards them, his nose moving around.

Before introducing himself, he had walked towards Emilia and taken a long sniff and then nodded. "Mike Zacharias," he said and the new recruit did not seem at all faced by the strange action. "Emilia Allard," she answered softly and Levi shook his head at the whole situation.

* * *

…

A week passed fairly quickly and Levi could now see why the girl had managed to get into the top ten in her class. When he had seen her thin body and weak attitude, he had doubted her rank as the best in her class, but he had also known not to judge before seeing her in action.

Even devoid of all emotion, she performed well on all of the tests Mike gave her.

Levi had still not seen any emotion slip into her eyes and he knew she would die soon. Soldiers like her who had lost the will to fight for their own life were more of a hindrance than help.

"You think she should be discharged from service?" Erwin asked that evening at the end of the week. Levi nodded and Mike ran a hand through his hair, "she's a danger to her team if she is not willing to fight," he said and Erwin considered the words.

"With our recent losses and the breach in wall Rose, it can be up to two months before our next expedition. Has she not expressed anything before then, I'll sign the papers," and Levi knew it was the right decision.

With how few soldiers they had left, it was not the time to throw people out. However, with the long-range formation that Erwin was working on, they would need people who wanted to survive.

Instead of going to the private room he had been given when they moved into the old abandoned castle, Levi went to the roof. He always went to sit on the same ledge that reminded him of the one he had sat on with Furlan and Isabel. Now that both of them were gone, he had gotten his won reason to fight. He would never give up until the titans were gone and his friends' deaths had not been in vain.

From his seat, Levi could see the surrounding area well, even though night had fallen long ago. It was while he turned to sit more comfortably that he noticed her. She was sitting on the roof of the stables, looking up into the sky.

The distance between them was enough for Levi to be sure that she had not noticed him, but he could see she was crying. It was strange to see tears come out of eyes that had looked so dead and cold. It made him wonder if there was still a small part of her that lived on.

He could remember how he had been right after he lost Furlan and Isabel. It had been hard to even keep food down and sleep had been nonexistent. It seemed that in her case, sleep was not something that came easy to her either.

Deciding to leave before she noticed him, Levi went to the kitchen and made tea. Sometimes it helped him enough to get just a bit more than two hours of sleep.

* * *

…

Another two weeks passed before Levi noticed Emilia show emotion again. It was the day after he and Mike had cleared her from the mandatory training and she had sat down with her old classmates.

One of them had said something that had made her show remorse and guilt. For less than a second, he had wondered what had managed to make her look like that, but then he had seen someone drop his fork and then use it again. The disgusting action made Levi frown and he knew that the dishes would have to be thoroughly cleaned again.

"Let's go," Eld said and stood, he had seen the way Levi had looked at his food and had known that the shorter man would not finish it. On their way up to Erwin's office, Mike, Hange and two other soldiers whom had been requested to join the meeting followed them.

The new commander looked tired, as if he had not left the room for days. Levi noticed how little paperwork that was left and knew that Erwin had been doing a lot to make sure his plans would go undisturbed.

"Sit down," Erwin said and gestured towards the sofa and chairs. A tray had been brought up with tea for them and Levi checked the cups before deeming one of them clean enough to use. Erwin rose from his desk to join them in the more comfortable chairs, carrying a few files and putting them on the table.

"These are the reports and the finished outline of the agreement between the Garrison Regimen and us. We have been requested to oversee the new mandatory repetition training every sixth month," Erwin said this as he passed the files around.

It had been no secret that the evacuation of Shinganshia had gone horribly wrong for several reasons, one of them being that the Garrison Regimen had not touched their mobility gear after graduating. Levi had never had any formal training like the ones in the room with him, but he knew that if he stopped using his gear regularly, his skill would falter.

The short man frowned when he saw the name written on one of the papers, she had apparently given a full report on how inept the Garrison soldiers had been when hell broke loose. He was surprised to see that she had admitted in the report that her word could not be taken too seriously, because of her state of mind and that she had lost her family.

It showed him that Allard was at least aware of how her actions affected others and that there perhaps was a chance for her after all.

"On what level will they be tested?" Hange asked, also flipping through the reports she had in her hands. Erwin sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "it has not been completely negotiated yet. However, I am pressing for them to be unfit for duty, should they not pass," Levi agreed with the decision. If they could not operate like a soldier, they could become mindless titan fodder instead.

The discussion went on for nearly an hour before they were excused and Levi could finally leave. With how warm the air in the office had been, Levi had gone straight to the roof in hope of cooling down.

Opening the door to the roof, it took him less than a second to realize someone else already occupied the spot. On the ledge where he would usually sit, was Emilia Allard. She was looking up at the sky, a cigarette in her hand and humming a slow tune.

"Stealing cigarettes, brat?" He asked in a harsh tone, giving the girl a shock. Had his reflexes not been quick, she would have fallen off the roof because of him. Instead, Levi had managed to catch her by the elbow and swing her back onto the roof.

"Crap," she said and got to her feet ungracefully. A second passed before her expression settled back into her normal one, but in that second, Levi had seen fear, surprise and also relief. It could be she was not entirely suicidal yet.

"I did not steal, sir," she then said and took out a small metal box and handed it to him. "I make them myself," she admitted and Levi inspected the silver metal before taking it from her and opening it. Inside, there were ten handmade cigarettes, carefully made to look exactly like the ones that could be bought inside Wall Sina.

Without asking, he took one and closed the box. The new soldier held out a small pack of matches and threw them his way. He easily caught them and tossed the small silver box back to her.

He could not remember how long it had been since he had last smoked, but he knew it was over a year. He and Furlan had sometimes been able to get their hands on cigarettes and they were one of the few things they kept for themselves.

It did not taste exactly like he remembered, but it was close. The memories that the action brought him were a nice reminder of his friends. It made him wonder if there was some reason for Allard's smoking. An expensive habit like that was not something a girl from Shinganshia picked up.

Almost as if he had spoken out loud, she answered his question. "My mother used to gather herbs. Tobacco plants were rare, but they grow in the wild. Some are poisonous and if you don't know the difference, it can kill you," her emotionless tone did make him wonder if she had perhaps considered smoking the poisonous ones.

Levi decided not to answer and when she had finished her own cigarette, she walked back inside and left him alone to enjoy the last bit he had. He looked at the closed door where she had vanished and sighed. It looked as if she was coming to terms with her situation.

* * *

…

Five more weeks passed before Levi was up on his horse and riding besides Mike. Today would be the first time they tried out the long-range formation Erwin had worked on. If it turned out to be a success, there would be fewer casualties in the future.

Levi knew Erwin was pushing through the paperwork to promote him, meaning this would also be a test to see if he could handle leading a team. Much to his irritation, Erwin had decided to place Emilia Allard under his command and not with Mike.

He would be leading Eld, Allard, Adrian and Sarah for the excursion outside Wall Rose. Normally, they had less than detailed maps to follow, but now that Wall Maria had fallen, they would only venture out into the territory between the two walls. All of that landscape had been mapped out and used to plan how far they could go and where it would be optimal to meet up and discuss what they had seen.

It was a two-day long mission, meaning they would have to make camp for the night. Luckily the titans rarely moved in the night and with their alarms set up, it would work. The object of the mission was to get an idea of how many titans had gotten in, how far apart they were and if they were targeting Trost, Krolva or Karanes.

On this excursion, they would ride towards Karanes and if everything went according to plan, they would do the same thing towards Krolva in a month.

The gate in Trost opened slowly and Levi turned his head to look at the four soldiers he was in command of. Emilia looked like she was in another world and it bothered him that he was not entirely sure about her will to live yet. If she decided to give up in the middle of an attack, it could kill them.

"Hold formation," he said sternly when the gate was fully open and Erwin gave the signal to ride out. The horses kicked up a lot of dust, but once outside the smelly city, Levi took in a deep breath. It was not like being completely outside of the walls, but the air was still clean compared to that inside Trost.

It was strange, they had been outside for nearly and hour without seeing any titans. It irked Levi that he had not seen any flares go off yet and just when the thought crossed his mind, he saw movement behind one of the broken farm houses they rode past.

A titan that had been lying down suddenly rose up and became visible behind the house. Seeing his chance to test Emilia's will to live without endangering anyone but himself, he gave an order, "Allard, front assist!" he shouted and jumped up to stand on the saddle of his horse. Her reaction was the same and when she jumped to make it move in her direction, Levi used the wall of the house to swing himself high up into the air with his mobility gear. The angle gave him a perfect shot at the neck, which he took without hesitation.

When the large chunk of titan was cut off and hit the ground, Emilia swung right past him in a kicking motion. A smaller titan had been inside the house and had jumped in an attempt to reach Levi. He knew he would have killed the titan before it could have hurt him, but her action did answer his question.

At least she would not let anybody die in front of her or chance it.

Emilia made quick work of the small titan while Levi jumped back onto his horse and took the rains of hers. Once she was back on the horse, she did something he had not expected, she gave him a nod in respect.

Adrian had sent up the flare, signaling they had taken down a titan and soon after, more flares were being shot up into the air. It continued like that until evening was slowly making it's presence known and they had to meet up at the designated spot.

When the camp was made and the alarm ringing bells and guards had been prepared, Levi went to get his share of food. Many had chosen to do the same and Hange sat down close by, a grin on her face. "Exiting day, we haven't had any casualties. This is a first. If this works, Erwin will be rewarded heavily," Levi knew she only said it as a joke, Erwin had never wanted the reward from inside the walls. He wanted to know what was outside and it was the reason he was doing everything he could to make the Survey Corps succeed.

"Maybe I'll get to catch one at some point," she said, a stars shining in her eyes at the idiotic idea. Levi scoffed and finished his food without commenting on her ideas. She had wanted to do experiments on titans for a long time and the idea had never been approved before.

"It's a good idea," the voice from behind him was familiar and he was slightly startled that he had not heard her approaching. Emilia took a seat near Hange and took out a small notebook.

"Theories," was all she said when the older woman gave her a questionable look. Hange took the book and leaned in closer to the fire to read what Emilia had gathered. His eyes went from one insane woman to the other, considering the idea of leaving to get some peace.

Hange looked to be in deep thought over something that was written on the third page and then she sprung up. "This must be tested!" she said loudly, making several soldiers turn their heads to look at her.

"I haven't had much to go on yet, since my only experience before today was from Shinganshia," Emilia said when Hange frowned at the many empty pages. "No matter, at least you have a scientific mind!" Hange said and looked at the younger girl as if she was the most delicious dinner.

With that outburst, Levi decided to go and check on his horse, if the two women wanted to discuss disembodying a titan, he did not want to be a part of it.

* * *

…

"It's been approved," Erwin said when he entered the office and went to sit down on the couch. It had only been two days since they got back from excursion between Wall Rose and Maria.

"You're being promoted to Captain of the Special Operations Squad. Your primary goal will be to be the best attack squad. You are in charge of who will be on this team and what training you will undergo," he pushed some papers over the desk and Levi ran a hand through his hair before standing and walking closer to look them over.

"Any members in mind yet?" Erwin asked the silent man, who raised an eyebrow before nodding. "Eld Jinn and Emilia Allard," he said and the commander looked surprised for a second before a small satisfied smile made it to his lips.

"Allard? Has she already proven herself?" he asked and Levi met his eyes, "She either will or she'll die trying," he knew his answer was cold, but Erwin still looked slightly amused.

Levi left the office to find the two soldiers he had mentioned and to his surprise, they were eating together in the hall. When he sat down at the same bench, Eld gave him a startled look, but nodded in greeting.

"You'll be on my team. Special Operations Squad, we'll be training daily," he said stiffly and when Emilia looked like she was about to leave, he caught her eye, "I'm talking to both of you, Allard," he said and her eyes widened.

He noticed that her eyes had a strange green color and that they shone more than they had done before. There was life in her eyes and she looked at him like he was talking nonsense. "Sir, I'm a new recruit," she said in a questioning tone, which made Eld smile.

"You followed orders on minimal communication," he said, even though it was not a good enough answer as to why she should be on his new squad.

"We'll meet every morning at eight," Levi then said and started to eat his own food. He would not let it grow cold just because a stupid girl had questions.

When dinner had ended and he had finished his tea, Levi had contemplated going to the roof for nearly thirty minutes before going up there. There was a mixture of disappointment and irritation when he saw that she was there, sitting in his spot again.

This time, she took out both the silver box and the matches and put them on the ledge besides her without a word. Levi took the items and lit up the small cigarette and noticed that it tasted different from the last one she had given him.

"It's mixed, I found another usable tobacco plant," she said softly and turned her head to look at him. With the cold night air helping him to clear his mind, Levi relaxed even though he would have preferred to be alone.

"Am I to call you Captain or sir?" she asked with something in her tone that nearly reminded him of someone trying to make fun. Obviously, she had not gotten in full contact with her human nature yet, but he still answered her, "it doesn't matter."

Because in truth, she could call him what she wanted as long as she followed his orders without question and respected his position. She shrugged, "Captain it is then," she said and then added, "Saying sir always reminds me of the academy," her words made him roll his eyes.

"Talkative brat," he muttered and for a moment, it looked like she had been about to smile, but instead, she just looked up at the sky. "I'll keep quiet, Captain," she said and after that, she did indeed not say another word.

Even when he took another cigarette, she kept silent and just stared at the sky.

* * *

…

In the first week of training as a three-man squad, Levi had made several changes to their training. Compared to the other soldiers, the training he wanted to make Eld and Emilia go through was near torture.

Even with Emilia's natural skill with her weapons, she had been sore and tired all week before he gave them a day off. They were sitting outside and drinking tea when Eld decided to get to know Emilia a little better.

"Why is it you change your hold on your blades constantly? It makes it hard to fully utilize the mobility gear," and he did have a point. Levi had also noticed her way of twirling her blades around like they were toys.

"Habit, I used to make money as a street performer," she admitted at even Levi was surprised by the revelation. "What kind? Most of them just play instruments?" Eld looked apologetic when Emilia rose and walked away, until he saw her cut off a long thin branch of a tree.

When she got back to their table, she held it in her hands for a few seconds before she started to twirl it in her hands. She added some speed to the movements and then tossed it into the air and caught it again.

"Like that," she said and sat back down to drink her tea. Eld took the abandoned stick and tried to do the same thing, but managed to hit his own shoulder. "Harder than it looks," he muttered and Emilia gave him a small smile.

"I used to do it with fire, it would get my act more attention," she revealed and Levi now understood why she never cut herself when swinging her blades around like she did. In a way, she had her own style like him. He had grown up holding a knife and she had grown up doing something that also effected her fighting.

"Fire? Sounds dangerous," Eld said after a second and she shrugged and rolled up her sleeve were there was a scar near her elbow. "It is," she said and Eld frowned. "Why did you do it then?" and this time, her expression told the Captain that things were getting too personal.

"When my father died, it was hard for my mother to make money. Had it not been for the local doctor buying the herbs she gathered, we wouldn't have had enough."

Eld sighed, "I lost my mother when I was a child. It's a difficult thing to go through," his decision to reveal something personal seemed to calm Emilia and Levi could see that there was a chance their team might work.

At dinner, they even ate together again and when Emilia stood to collect her tray, she turned to Eld, "do you smoke?" her voice was low, not wanting anyone else to hear her question. The man looked surprised, "if you have them I wouldn't mind," he said and then she looked to Levi. "Join us if you want, Captain," and had it not been because he wanted a cigarette, he would have stayed down in the hall.

Nonetheless, soon all three of them were on the roof. "How often do you make them?" Levi asked when he looked down at the freshly made cigarette. "When I have time, I've managed to find more plants," as her Captain, Levi considered if she should ask when and how she found the plants, but decided against it.

"Just don't tell anyone else, people here will hunt you for them," Eld said while leaning against the wall. Emilia nodded and Levi looked down at the silver box still in his hand. There was a small part where it looked like there was something written and when he locked closer, her saw what was written. M. Allard.

"Michael, my father," she said and, having noticed him inspecting the box. He gave it back to her, now knowing why she always had it on her. He did not have anything to hold on to from Furlan and Isabel, but he would have if there had been anything.

* * *

…

Already on their next expedition, Levi was forced to put his new small team to the test. The two riders on the left flank had sent up an emergency flare and it had been their team that was closest.

Five titans had managed to force the two soldiers to flee and Levi knew why. The open terrain made it hard for them to use their mobility gear. He had trained Eld and Emilia specifically for this scenario and when they both reacted without him having to order them, he knew it was working.

Emilia and Eld each took one before using the falling titans to assist on a third while Levi took the two that were closest to the other soldiers. It had been done quickly and efficiently.

The two left flank soldiers looked at them with open mouths, but Levi did not bother with them, instead he quickly sent up the green flare and signaled for his two subordinates to join him.

When they were back in the outer left wing, Levi felt a sense of accomplishment. They still had a long way to go, but it was a good start to their squad.

Later, when they made camp, Levi had expected Emilia to join her old classmates, but she returned after a few minutes with a frown. Instead of asking, he just kept silent and allowed her to take a cup of his tea.

"My little mastermind!" Hange said and sat down by Emilia, sticking her hand into her jacket without asking and taking out the small notebook. She started to read and when two minutes had passed, she readjusted her glasses once and then looked closer.

"Are these calculations correct?" she asked and Emilia shrugged, "don't know, it depends on the theory being correct," because of the missing enthusiasm on Hange's face, Levi wondered what Emilia had written in her notebook.

"Can I borrow this?" She finally asked and left with the notebook before Emilia had agreed. "Brat, what did you write?" he asked and she looked at him in surprise. "It was an idea I had for the walls," she said and looked over her shoulder to see Hange sticking the notebook into Erwin's face.

The commander and the crazy women spoke for a bit before Erwin glanced over at Emilia. Erwin and Hange made their way back to him and his subordinate and sat down, a serious look on Erwin's face.

"Hange, fill her in," he ordered and the woman grinned, "about two months before what happened in Shinganshia, we found a notebook outside the walls, it belonged to someone called Ilse Langnar. It gave me probable cause to research the titans," Hange explained and handed Emilia her own notebook back.

"If the nets work like you described, it could be the last piece to my puzzle about how to catch one," this time, Emilia showed a visible interest in the conversation and took out a pen and started writing something down.

"They would be expensive to manufacture. However, if you used this-," she held up the notebook to let Hange see something Levi could not. "-It would work. The metal is cheaper and weaker, but with," Hange cut her off, "with the right amount of pikes to hold them, it would be enough," her words made the two women look at each other with clear excitement.

Levi looked to the short woman and realized he had never seen her look so intent on doing anything. "If you can work out a proper test report, I'll bring it up for debate when we get back," Erwin said and shared a look with Levi.

The newly promoted captain knew he was going to play a part in capturing a titan. He, Eld and Emilia were probably the ones who were going to be put in charge of cornering the creature without having to kill it.

"Allard, what knowledge about metals makes you sure this will work?" Erwin asked and the soldier in question gave him a hesitant smile, "my father was a smith, he spent hours telling me about how metals work," and her answer seemed to be enough for Erwin at the moment.

* * *

…

Two months passed before Erwin had gotten the plan through the higher ups. It was worked out like an expedition, but with even less chance of a casualty. The reason why they had agreed had been because of the last three expeditions they had gone on.

Erwin's ideas on formation had worked perfectly and there had only been minor injuries and one lost hand. It was something that changed everything and now even the civilian people had started looking at them differently.

From what Erwin had told Levi, it seemed that they might get more recruits when the new graduates had to choose in seven months. It made all of the Soldiers in the Survey Corps much more confident in their goal. Their fight for humanity.

"Captain," the spoken word came from his left and Levi turned his head towards her. She had gone to the roof like he had, but he could see on her face that she had hoped to be alone. He made no move to leave, which she knew meant that she could either sit down or leave.

Like she normally did when they were on the roof, she handed him a cigarette and the matches. However this time, she was staring at her silver box with clouded eyes. "Brat, if you're going to cry, leave," he said and she frowned.

"It's my fathers death anniversary," she explained and had it been any other reason, Levi would have ordered her to leave when a small tear went down her cheek. He rarely kept track of the days, but he never managed avoid doing it when a day meant something.

Just a month ago, he had taken a personal day and left the castle they were staying in. He had gone back to the underground in civilian clothing without informing anyone. It had been a bad day, he had gotten into a fight and nearly killed someone.

Some days were just more difficult than others, which was why he kept silent as she wiped her tears away. "Ready for tomorrow?" she asked instead and he let out a small sound of irritation, "tch, it'll get Hange to shut up," he muttered and Emilia shook her head, "I think it'll do the opposite," and he knew she was right.

The crazy scientist would not be able to keep her mouth shut about anything she discovered before everyone, including him, knew it. "I should go," she said when her own cigarette had burned down without her smoking much of it. Levi did not answer and she left in silence.

* * *

…

The next day had proven that all of their plans had not been for nothing. With the strategy he had gone through with Emilia and Eld, everything had worked like it should. Or at least close. There had been one problem with the amount of titans they found and Hange had chosen the most humanly shaped one before letting Levi take care of the two others.

They had chosen a smaller one and when it was hoisted over the wall near the castle, they had made sure it was out of view from any civilian people. The structure of the net Emilia had helped design worked like it should and when it was finally down in the hole that had been made, Levi took his leave.

Most of the soldiers whom had had a choice left too, but Emilia stayed behind with Hange and the ones who were to keep guard. As promised in the paperwork, Erwin was there to oversee everything. If things went south, he would be the one to take the blame.

"Do you think it'll actually make a difference?" Eld asked while he was eating and Levi had made tea. The Captain was unsure of how to answer and shrugged. There was a chance it could work, but from what he already knew about titans, it would not matter. They ate humans and could not be reasoned with.

Hours passed before Emilia joined them for dinner, a contemplated look on her face. Only when Hange entered with the same expression was Levi sure that something was not right. And true enough, while some of the soldiers were clearing away the meals, he was called to Erwin's office.

Emilia and Hange were already inside, waiting for him. "What is it?" he asked gruffly and took a seat. "I-," Emilia said but then stopped and looked to Hange who gave her a nod. "I think the titans may have been humans at some point," her words made it across the room to him, but Levi had to digest them before understanding that she had not made a ridiculous joke.

"This is now what I expected," Erwin muttered, a serious look on his face. "It would mean they turned because of something and whatever it is, does not affect us inside the walls," his words had been the same thing Levi had been thinking and Emilia nodded.

"I discussed it with Hange. It's only a theory and we have no way to prove it, but…" she trailed off and took out the drawing's she had made, mirroring the titan body and the human. Of course, Levi had already seen the resemblance they had to the average human, but the notes made it even clearer.

"We opened it up to look at the bones, they are exactly like human ones, only larger. Also, the limbs weigh the same as a human limb when cut off," Hange said and laid out her equations on the desk.

Erwin was silent for a long moment before he gathered the papers and walked over to the fireplace and threw them in, "it would cause a panic if your assumptions were made public," he said softly, not taking his eyes off the burning papers.

"This will not leave my office, but I expect you to write a report that can allow you to conduct more experiments," the two women were quiet while Erwin continued, "the research would be stopped if they thought humans could suddenly become titans. But if it is a virus, it's not airborne or infectious. We have veterans who have been bitten years ago and haven't changed," his unspoken words were not missed by anyone and Levi felt his fingers loose blood the more they clenched into a fist.

It all added up to one thing, if the titans had truly been humans once, someone or something was changing them. It meant that there were humans outside the walls or there had been.

"What made you make the connection, Allard?" Erwin's sharp eyes were now on the young woman, who was quiet for a long moment before she let out a gasp. "Grisha," she said the name like it meant everything to her at the moment.

"A doctor who was a friend of the family. It was something he said," she looked desperate in her attempt to remember something and Hange put a hand on her shoulder. "He was from Shinganshia?" she asked and Emilia nodded.

Erwin walked to the bookshelf and took down a newly made book and slammed it onto the desk. "His surname?" he asked and Levi knew it was the full version of the registered survivors from Shinganshia. "Yeager," she said softly and Erwin flipped to the back of the book. Everyone was silent until the commander slammed the book closed and grimaced.

"He was not among the survivors, only an Eren Yeager is registered," his words still meant something and Emilia took the book, eyes blinking rapidly.

"Eren survived?" She asked breathlessly and opened the book again. When she found the name, tears gathered in her eyes. Then she went back to the beginning of the book where all the surnames with A were listed.

"They survived," she said again and had it not been for Hange reacting, she would have fallen to the floor.

The whole scene had made Levi slightly uncomfortable and he could see that Erwin felt a little guilty. Perhaps because he had not gone straight to her with the book when he had gotten it. With Emilia being from Shinganshia, she should have been allowed to see the full list after she recovered from her own loss.

While Emilia took in deep breaths to calm herself, Levi glanced at the long list of names, wondering which had been the ones she had looked for.

"Captain, do you have any extended family?" she asked after a minute, "I don't," he said stiffly and then looked to the name Emilia pointed at. Someone who had his surname.

"I think this enough for tonight. Allard, if you remember anything, come straight here. Do not write it down anywhere. Understood?" Erwin's orders were enough to end the small meeting and when Emilia nodded and said, "Yes, sir" they left.

Levi knew she had gone to the roof and for some reason he followed. She had already lit her own cigarette when he got outside. He did the same thing and both of them stood there in silence.

"I need to go and see them," she said softly and Levi understood. Had he been in the situation she was, he would have done the same thing. Nonetheless, it could be she was not close with any of them and just wanted to see familiar faces.

"Lira, my younger sister had a crush on Armin. He and Eren sometimes played with Vic," he had only heard the names of her family members once, it was hard for her to speak about them.

"Who was the girl?" Levi asked, hating to admit that the surname had interested him a little. "Mikasa, I only met her once. She went to live with the Yeager family after I joined the military," she paused and then took another cigarette, clearly not caring to save them.

* * *

…

Two weeks later, Emilia had gone to Trost to find out where the kids had been stationed. However, she came back with a temper and begrudgingly told Eld, and Levi who was listening that they had not kept record of who went where.

Levi knew that if he went to get the information, they would have to find out. He was no longer an average soldier, but he also knew that his reasons for doing anything would be hard to explain. In reality, he did not even know why he had gotten the thought in the first place.

However, he was surprised that with each month that passed, Emilia sometimes went to visit a farm when she had the time. She was hoping to find the children, but had no luck in her attempts.

Nearly a year had passed since she had transferred to the scouts when she gave up. She had lashed out and been angry for nearly a week before Levi had been forced to set her mind right. They had fought and when he had finally delivered a kick to her stomach, she stayed down for minutes.

Eld had helped her too her feet and sighed, "the new recruits are coming soon, not the best example of leadership," he said and Levi raised an eyebrow, "I'll discipline the brats like I see fit," and he glared at Emilia who was now holding a cloth to her bleeding lip.

She had managed to get more punches in than he had expected. They sparred on a regular basis, but never with the intent to hurt like they had done today. Emilia had fighting instincts better than most of the soldiers he had come across.

That same afternoon, the green and nervous looking recruits were introduced and Mike was put in charge of their training. The blonde man had scared some of them with his sniffing, but one man had been looking at Emilia, surprised to see her.

At dinner, he approached her with a hesitant smile, "Allard? I thought you joined the Military Police," he said and then glanced around, "where is Caroline?" his questions made her uncomfortable, but before she could say anything, Adrian who had graduated the same year as her, came over.

"Miller, didn't think you'd join," he said and laughed awkwardly and dragged the cadet away from their table. Eld looked to Emilia who swallowed her food and looked down, "Caroline died in the expedition before I joined," she explained and Eld sighed, "I didn't know the cadets the year below me," he looked thoughtful and Emilia grimaced.

"Miller broke his arm in the second year, because of his recovery, he was asked to join the younger cadets," and now he had joined the Survey Corps in the hope of seeing old friends whom were already dead. Levi again had to admit the world was cruel.

* * *

…

Nine months passed before Levi requested someone new to be put on his squad. Oluo Bozado was a bit older than the other new recruits, but he had shown his capabilities out in the field well enough.

Erwin had asked him to expand from a three man-squad and Levi knew that he would have to find a fifth member soon. It had worked well with Eld and Emilia working as a pair and him alone, but now they were four.

On the first morning where Oluo joined them, he had seemed a bit stuck up and had thought he would be partnered with the Captain. Because of that, Levi had decided something else, "Allard, you're proficient in single kills. From now on, you're second in command and will assist me," his order may have been taken as an insult, had the third member not been Eld.

The man had joined the year before Emilia, but knew she was better out in the field than him. He was not stupid enough to let pride get in the way of practicality and survival.

And the Captain had to admit, it had brought him satisfaction to observe the hand-to-hand training between Emilia and Oluo, who had been hesitant with hitting the short woman. She had not taken to the action kindly and the new man ended up getting beaten to the ground.

In the evening, Levi had made her sign the papers and she was now officially promoted. It was strange that when she had joined, he had truly believed she would die quickly.

"Bozado is not getting any of my cigarettes," she grumbled and met his eyes, it would exclude the new man from the evenings where she, Eld and himself sat in silence and relaxed. "Teamwork, Allard," he reminded her and stood, "don't make me regret promoting a brat," he knew the words got to her and she sighed. "Yes, Captain," and took the wooden box on his desk and opened it. There was only one cigarette left.

"I'll go fill this," she said and he gestured to the door, allowing her to leave. Not long ago, Emilia had given both him and Eld a box filled with cigarettes. She had apparently found more tobacco plants than she needed for herself.

Levi had still not asked her where she found them or where she kept them and trusting his instincts, he knew not to ask.

The next day after training, Emilia had revealed her secret to Oluo and threatened him to keep his silence. The man had only tried it once, and when he joined them that evening, he had been coughing like a madman.

* * *

…

New recruits were joining them again and Levi had gotten some information from Erwin, which he was considering. One of the new recruits had showed a great aptitude in assist kills in training and if he worked like that on the field, he would be a good member for his squad.

However, that had shown itself not to be the case on the next expedition, when he died because of his slow reaction and fear that kicked in when he met a real titan.

"Shame, he seemed like a nice man," Emilia said when she sat down by the fire where they had made camp. Eld nodded and Oluo who had finally seemed to relax in the team, kept on eating.

Emilia left them shortly after to discuss something with Hange and Levi knew they were preparing something big. They had been whispering about something for nearly a month since the last titan they had captured, died in captivity faster than the previous ones.

With his habit of not sleeping regularly, he saw his opening to make his subordinate tell him the truth while most soldiers had tried to get some sleep. The alarms and guards posted were enough to keep them from harm, should an abnormal appear in the night.

"Brat, you have one chance to come clean," he said over the diming fire she sat by, a blanket loosely covering her body. She gestured for him to come closer and spoke in a hushed voice.

"Don't force me to say anything here in the open," her warm breath met his face and sent a chill through him. "Hange has already asked Erwin for a meeting when we get back," her words could settle the argument for now and instead of leaving, he sat by her side quietly.

She had been with the Survey Corps for two years now, which had allowed him to get to know her more than he had planned. Especially since they spent every day together while training. Even on the days they took breaks, the squad tended to eat together. It was a companionship he had not expected when he had formed the squad in the beginning.

His presence by her side was not uncomfortable either. They touched on a regular basis, even if it was always work related he had been closer to her body than he was now. Two expeditions ago, he had even carried her because her equipment got damaged.

Nonetheless, there was something about the way they were sitting that made him realize she was a woman, not just another soldier. The thought surprised him, but he let it go quickly enough. He knew he only noticed her more because he respected her skills and work as a soldier.

* * *

…

With four people in the office, there was space for them all to sit comfortably around Erwin's small table. A tray of tea was there but pushed to the side, as Emilia and Hange started putting papers together.

"We've been testing metals against titans blood. As you already know, it is like an acid and the pikes we use to hold them have to be regularly replaced. Their stomach and saliva also has acidic capabilities," Hange explained and laid out a drawing of long steel bars, almost looking like a broad rope ladder.

"We have finally managed to find a mix between these four metals, that seem to be nearly entirely resistant to the acid. By making these to fold down over the gates, they can act as an emergency to stop titans from entering," Levi knew that with Shinganshia being destroyed, there was a chance of it happening again in other places.

"It would be expensive, but I came up with operation shield," Emilia said and gestured to other papers, "Three soldiers use their mobility gear to hang from the inner side of the breached wall, attacking from above right as titans enter. Two soldiers are stationed on top of the wall with extra blades and gas," she paused while Erwin looked the two ideas over and then passed them to Levi.

"We should include Mike, he is trustworthy," Levi said and Erwin let out a sigh, it was true. It was dangerous to let too may people know that they were considering the possibility of someone having infiltrated wall Rose, but Mike had loyal men that would trust his decisions.

"Allard, go find him," Erwin said after he had considered it and the woman nodded, leaving the office quickly.

"I swear, her mind has more ideas than I can count," Hange said when she had left and Levi knew she was smart. Her way of thinking and interpreting situations was highly intelligent. "She planned operation shield and a third idea, should the large titan appear again. According to her, it kicked the gate directly and then vanished," Hange said and showed another drawing and a paper filled with calculations.

"Blowing up the top of the wall to cover the gate while evacuating," Erwin muttered and then shook his head, "I trust she was not entire on board with this idea?" Hange nodded, "she said it would be a last resort, as it might make the larger ones capable of climbing over," She produced a drawing of a titan walking along the wall and where there was an note of Emilia's writing – _Doubt they would be intelligent enough, but titans jumping into the cities would be a disaster-_

Levi scoffed at the childish way she wrote some of the things down, but he did realize one thing. She was in a way, very creative about her drawings. They were well done and he wondered how long she had spent drawing.

With that thought in mind, the door opened and Mike entered, a look of interest on his face. "Finally let in on the secrets?" he asked and took a seat. Erwin filled him in on the things that were not to be written down anywhere before Hange filled him in on their plans for gate security.

"If the colossal titan had intellect, it would tear them down," Erwin said when they went over the steel bar idea that had been made. However, as soon as he said it, Emilia gave him a small frown, "We did consider that, but if they were kept on the tracks away from the gates, they could be brought over while operation shield was performed," her words did have some valid points but Levi had to voice his opinion.

"They would attack while we aren't here, if they are inside, they'd know when we leave," he said and it made Emilia glare at him, which he had not expected. She was usually calm and collected and not easily riled up.

"Which is also why you should let me finish, _Captain_ ," she was acting insubordinately and he knew Emilia was aware of how he would react later. "I was about to address that and say we keep operation shield a secret. If three soldiers stay behind in secret, it would give us the advantage," again, she had a point, but he knew she could see the holes in her plan.

Making soldiers stay behind would mean having to inform them of what they were discussing and that meant that it would probably get out in some way.

"Allard, calm down," Erwin said and the girl stood up, "I cannot calm down if these people are planning on doing this again!" in her anger, she had let more slip than she had planned and now Erwin stood, towering over her.

"Allard, you remembered something," his accusing words were cold and Emilia bit her lip. "I- I don't know why but I know they are among us and I'm going crazy because I can't stop them," she bowed her head down, "I'm sorry, sir, I won't make baseless assumptions again," she was the least experienced soldier in the room and the only reason she was included in the meetings, was because she had been the one to help Hange.

"I will admit your ideas are valuable, but do not forget your place," Levi added when she sat back down besides Hange. She cast him an apologetic look, but he was too irritated to let her off the hook.

Once the meeting had ended and Mike was fully informed, Levi had gone to the roof. "Captain, can you lecture me tomorrow?" Her question had been spoken the second he closed the door and he was about to ignore her plea when he saw she had red eyes.

"Don't let your own feelings get in the way again," he said and she let out a shallow breath and moved her head so that he could not see her face. She was not great at showing her emotions to others and he was not one to lecture her about that. He rarely told or showed anyone how he felt, unless he was irritated.

"Any luck finding them?" he decided to ask when she had calmed down a bit and put the box of cigarettes on the ledge they were leaning against.

"You knew I started looking again?" she asked, surprise clear in her voice. Levi had noticed it the day she had gone off for a 'personal reason'. "Tch, brat, I have eyes," she let out a tired laugh and shook her head.

"I've been to all the farms now, one of them said they had been there, but left three months ago," and for the first time, Levi wondered how she had overlooked something so simple.

"They would be around twelve or thirteen, right?" he asked and she nodded, "have you looked at the new recruits to sign up for the military?" she had been in the middle of taking in the smoke when he spoke, which resulted in her coughing and dropping her lit cigarette.

The Captain bent to pick it up and put it out, "It wasn't near finished," she said and Levi frowned at the idea, "it was on the ground. Take a new one," if she had been planning to pick it up and smoke it after that, he would have been forced to look away.

She lit up a new one and hoisted herself up on the ledge, "I'll go look tomorrow if my Captain will let me off training," he sighed and nodded, "as long as it does not become a habit," he said and she gave him a true smile. It made her eyes shine in the night and made him uncomfortable for some reason.

* * *

…

Part 2 will be up in the weekend


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

* * *

...

It was after dinner the next day that he saw her again. She had left before the sun went up and he now knew he had made the right decision. Emilia looked more alive than he had ever seen her before and Eld patted her on the back when she joined them.

"How did it go, what did they say?" He asked and Oluo looked at them in confusion, "where did you go?" he asked and Emilia gave them a small grin. "I found some kids I knew from Shinganshia," she said and Oluo, who had still not heard the full story blinked and Levi could see him put the puzzle together in his head.

"Armin cried," she said after Oluo looked to be understanding of the situation. "He thought I had died with my family," she now looked guilty but when she met his eyes, Levi knew she still had a reason to be somewhat happy.

"Eren is talking like a bigshot. I arrived while they were eating breakfast and Instructor Shadish had to stop a fight he had been in," Eld chuckled and passed her something to drink. "When he saw me, he got so shocked and thought he was having visions," she took a sip of the hot tea.

"I was allowed to oversee the training for the day and answer questions from the recruits. After that, I took them out for dinner and they told me what had happened," she gave Levi a look he knew meant something. She had to speak to him without the other two later.

"Poor kids, they were about ten when Shinganshia fell?" Eld asked and she sighed, "yes, and I also heard Mikasa's story. Those kids have gone through enough. I tried talking Eren out of joining us, but he is dead set on it."

Levi knew she had said that because the two other's did not know that there was a possible connection between the girl and him. They shared a surname and he had never heard of anyone else with that name other than one man he would never speak off.

Instead of going to the roof later, Emilia went outside and Levi decided to follow her and get the information.

When she saw him, she did not hesitate, "Mikasa told me her father was the youngest of three siblings. She could not remember their names, but" she hesitated and he gave her a stern look, "her mother was an oriental. Her parents were killed because some men wanted to sell her and her mother," his mouth went a little dry at her words.

Emilia did not know about his past, but he had seen what a woman who was sold ended up like. His mother had him when she was just a teen who had run away from home and had ended up in the underground and sold her body to buy him food.

Kenny had found him not long after she had died and from then on, he had tried not to think about her too much. Something in the back of his mind was trying to get his attention and something Kenny had said came to him _"snot nosed brat like my brother"_

Could he have been speaking of a younger brother? There was a chance that the girl could be his cousin but there was no way of knowing. It would be best to leave her alone to live her own life.

"What was the second thing you wanted to say?" He finally asked after having thought through her words. Emilia looked surprised by him changing the subject but knew not to ask.

"Eren, he said something about his father. It was something about their basement back in Shinganshia. I think he thought it was a dream, but the basement was Grisha's work space," she said and Levi knew they had to go to Erwin with this. The question was, why had she not already gone to the commander.

"You're afraid," he said in an almost soft voice and she looked at him with doubtful eyes, "He would never harm an innocent child," she said and it was not a question, more like she was stating something she just needed him to agree on.

"Never," he said and it looked to convince her.

Emilia went to see Erwin and Levi went to the kitchen to make tea. He had a lot to think about and one of them was the irritating possibility of having a family member who was alive.

* * *

…

Nearly half a year passed before a fifth member joined his squad. Gunther Schultz had been in several bad situations, but had managed to save his fellow soldiers and prove himself out in the field.

It was the reason why he was now standing with them in the morning, looking a tad nervous and uncomfortable. "Allard and I will show you how it's done. She'll work with you on it today," and they entered the large open area where there were three dummy titans set out.

Without having to speak a word, Levi moved at the same time as Emilia, each taking one titan and meeting on the third to make an assist kill.

Once they were on the ground, Emilia took the lead. "This is our basic strategy for open terrain. Always take the tallest out first, and depending on numbers, it'll be assist kill and then a solo or the other way around," the new squad member looked nervous, but Emilia was a kinder instructor than he was.

Or that was what he had once believed. Levi knew he was strict and strived for perfection, but now he could see that his work attitude had rubbed off on the woman compared to when Oluo joined them.

Entertaining, as it was to watch her skin the soldier alive when he made a mistake, Levi had to make the three-man assist work with him, Eld and Oluo. He had listened to Emilia talk about their teamwork before and he knew she was right in asking them to change partners.

He had already been considering it when she came to him with it and it was the reason why he put her in charge of their new member. With Erwin putting plans together for how to protect the outer cities, should another attack happen, Levi knew he was considering making another team.

Emilia was a good candidate to take over a team, even though she was young, she was just as skilled as Mike, if not more. She lacked in some areas, but Levi knew she was smart enough to make a squad that would even out the strengths.

"It's like she's possessed," Oluo said when they had taken a break only to watch Emilia deliberately make Gunther loose his balance while trying to go in for the solo kill.

"He has to learn," Eld reasoned, but when she finally allowed Gunther to take a break, it was clear he pitied him. Levi on the other hand found it hard not to allow his lips to form a small smile.

It had only been for a short moment, but he knew Emilia had seen it and in response, she had let out a small laugh.

"Is it like this every day?" Gunther asked and Eld shook his head, "it's just because you're new to the squad. Plus, Em won't be here tomorrow," the nickname Emilia had gotten had caught on a few expeditions back. Oluo had in the heat of an attack called out to her several times and had decided her name irritating to shout.

Levi still used her surname and she had never once called him by his given name either. It was as if it was their way of showing respect for each other and it helped that she referred to him as captain no matter what. Because of it, no one else dared to try call him by his name.

"Why? I thought you trained nearly every day" Gunther asked and Emilia smiled, "I'm going to see some cadets I know back from Shinganshia," she explained and Levi sent her a small glare. Erwin had been the one who had asked her to go, meaning she was doing it again on a day where they were supposed to be training.

"I heard you were there," Gunther said and looked to be about to ask something when Oluo slapped his hand over his mouth, "I think that's enough chit chat. It's my turn to get the tea and you might as well learn how," and then he dragged Gunther away from the table.

Levi had often found himself to be irritated with Oluo, but the man did know when someone was overstepping a line or was about to. Plus, he was still not entirely on Emilia's good side and he was trying to change that.

* * *

…

The new recruits were coming in again soon and Levi looked at Erwin, his mouth pressed into a line. "Are you sure?" he asked the commander, who nodded. "She and you are the only two I can think would be capable," Erwin said and Levi knew he was right.

Emilia had in the last three years shown herself worthy of almost any position within the Survey Corps. If she were promoted to Captain, no one would ask questions. She had killed many titans and saved even more lives out in the field. She was respected and most importantly, knew what was going on.

"I'm back to a four-man squad," Levi said and Erwin gave him an apologetic look, "You knew it was going to happen sooner or later," he said and the Captain nodded.

"Hange is going to be pleased," he said after a second and Erwin smiled, "she won't pester you to let her off a bit early now," he agreed and Levi left the office shortly after.

Strangely enough, he was glad to see her alone out on the roof that night. Had Eld been there, it would not have been as easy to talk to her.

"You're being promoted," he said and was surprised when she gave him an expression that reminded him of a child not getting what they wanted. "Why?" he asked and she shrugged, "I liked being in your squad," she said and it brought something warm forward in him.

Levi had known she thrived in his squad, but he had not expected her to want to stay, "You're a good Captain and now I have to worry about not getting my squad killed," she said and in an exasperated tone. His lip twitched and she smiled and lit her cigarette.

"I never worried about you when you joined my squad," he said and she raised an eyebrow, "either that meant you trusted my abilities or you didn't care if I died," her words held an amused tone, but he knew she was actually asking him.

"I wouldn't want to see any more people die," he said and when he thought about it, her death would mean more to him than most of the soldiers in the Survey Corps.

"I won't have to call you Captain anymore," she whispered and then started laughing, "So is it Levi or Ackerman?" and for the first time, he had heard her speak his name out loud. It did something strange to him and it did not sound like when Erwin, Mike or Hange used it.

"It still makes no difference," he said and thought back to the first time she had asked him a similar question. Back then, he had known nothing about her and now she was being promoted to Captain.

Levi knew more about her than he cared to admit. How she sometimes stole an extra baked potato. The way she would pick apart her bread before eating it and also separate the vegetables she disliked from her food.

He knew she liked to draw and that she had a tendency to disappear some nights where she tended to her small garden in the woods. That she allowed her hair to grow long because it reminded her of her sister and that she polished her silver box once a week.

And he wondered how he had come to know so much about her, when none of it had anything to do with her abilities as a soldier.

"Levi it is, but then you'll have to use my name too. It would be weird if I called you Levi and you still called me Allard," she seemed to indifferent to her own words, but Levi felt the same unfamiliar sensation again when she used his name.

"You're still a brat," he said and again, she let out a laugh but the smile she gave him sent a chill through his body.

* * *

…

Levi had watched her train her three new squad members. Adrian and Sarah had been her first to choices and now with the new recruits having arrived, she had chosen one of them. Hans had been on four expeditions before she asked him to join and Levi had been irritated by the star-struck look in his eyes.

"He's going to ask her out at some point and get his ass kicked," Oluo said one evening when Hans had offered to move and make room for Emilia at his table. Instead, she had ignored him and was now walking their way.

When she sat down besides Levi, Eld spoke up. "You aren't eating together?" he said and she shrugged, "Adrian and Sarah are okay, but I can't understand why Hans is acting so stupid all of a sudden," she said and Eld exchanged a look with him and Oluo.

Levi could admit she was an attractive woman, even with the small scar she had on her chin, she was clearly above average. It was strange that she did not consider the appeal she might have to the opposite sex.

And not many days had passed before Gunther came running his way while he was drinking tea with Eld and planning new formations.

"She kicked him off her squad," he said, breathless from his run. Levi knew what he was talking about and then he saw the group walking out from the forest. Emilia with a bleeding cut down her arm and Hans looking like his world had ended.

Adrian and Sarah were close behind them, looking irritated.

The Captain stood and quickly crossed over the open field and took a hold of her arm, turning it to inspect the cut. It was clear that she had been cut by a sword and had been very lucky. Their weapons were incredibly sharp, but her would was shallow.

"What happened?" His question came out in a different tone than he had expected and Emilia looked up to meet his eyes. "Can we not talk about his here?" she asked and he let go of her arm.

Later, he found out from Oluo that Hans had with sword in hand, tried to copy her move, resulting in his wires getting tangled and had she not been there, he would have killed himself.

"She had told them not to try it without instructions, Adrian said Hans wanted to show off," Oluo finished and Gunther shook his head, "showing off is the worst thing you can do in front of Em," he said and even Levi had to agree.

Emilia had strict beliefs that if you wanted to show off, do it in the stomach of a titan where it mattered. What mattered to her was that everyone was focused on two goals, working together and surviving.

"She's replacing him with Miller, who actually knows to respect her," Oluo said but Levi did not want to hear anymore. He had realized that she had not come down for dinner and when she skipped meals, it meant she was worried or sad.

What he discovered was that she was both.

He had gone to the roof, only to see that she was sitting on top of the stables. It meant she wanted to be alone, but he would have to get her down and make her eat. Malnutrition should not be his concern now that he was no longer her Captain, but Erwin was too busy to order her around.

"Brat, you have three seconds to get down," he said when he got close to the stables and could see she had noticed him. She waved him away and Levi jumped to get a hold of the roof and swing himself up in one smooth move.

"How am I going to be a Captain if I can't even choose the right squad members?" she asked before he could get close enough to force her down. He stood on top of the stable before taking a seat on the edge near her.

"By kicking off the incompetent ones," he answered and she tried to laugh, but it came out sounding strange. She usually came back with a retort, but when she stayed silent, Levi was a bit lost on what to do. Usually they would smoke when they were like this, but it was not a smart thing to do on top of a wooden stable filled with hay.

"You need to eat," he said when nearly ten minutes of silence had passed. "You're not my captain anymore," she muttered and he pretended not to hear her. Levi took a strong hold on her elbow, jumped down and pulled her with him. He landed on his feet, but in her shock of his action, he had to catch her.

Levi stood with her in his arms for a bit longer than necessary before he let go and took a step back. She glared at him and if it had not been as dark as it was, he would have seen how her face had turned red. All he could see was a slight flush in her cheeks.

"Do I need to spoon-feed you?" he asked and she stalked off, going right for the back entrance of the kitchen. Dinner had already been cleared away, but Levi took some bread and meat out. He knew meat was scarce, but he could care less. She was of a higher rank now and would have more chances to eat better food.

He put the food on a plate and went about making tea while she picked her bread apart. It took her a long time to finish the small meal and by then, Levi was on his second cup of tea. Emilia took a cup for herself and emptied the teapot, knowing he hated when people took the last tea.

The defiant act did at least tell him she was not as depressed as before.

"Are you a mother hen to every soldier here?" she asked and Levi stared at her blankly "only those brats who can't take care of themselves," and this time, her laugh sounded normal.

* * *

…

Four years had passed since Levi met Emilia Allard when he had to admit there was something going on with him he did not understand. Now that she was not on his squad anymore, he had a nearly constant need to know where she was when they were out of wall Maria.

The steel bar protection for the gates were being hoisted up on the walls and Erwin had given a public statement about how they were for people's protection, should something happen in the outer cities.

What the public did not know, was that the public statement was meant to reach whomever wanted to penetrate the walls. Because the Commander had now started planning the training for the Garrison regimen around their expeditions.

Emilia had been the one to come up with the cover of some of the better trained soldiers staying behind and Levi had to admit he was glad she and her team almost a third of the training sessions.

Her squad was getting close to his in how efficiently they worked and now that she had gotten over her first mistake as a Captain, she was doing a great job. Instead of having two training sessions with many Garrison men, they were now doing it once a month with a more concentrated group.

It would circulate in a way that made every member of the regimen having to come back after six months to be cleared once again. And Levi knew it made the Garrison Regimen both hate and respect the Survey Corps.

Pixis had made a formal statement about this change and how it was good to see his men so focused on their work. Levi had already done it twice and he knew that few of them would stand a chance against a real titan.

Nonetheless, he had to agree with Emilia that sometimes, they saw a soldier who should be on the outside, because they had the skill to do it.

It was the four of them that took turns on overseeing the training. The Garrison men already feared Hange, while most of them hoped they would train under Mike. When they heard that Levi or Emilia would oversee the training, some soldiers tried to get a doctor to declare them sick.

But it would work, now they had a plan if something should happen and Levi had to agree with Erwin that Trost was their most likely target. And Emilia's plan for a squad holding the gate had been discussed in full detail several times between them in Erwin's office.

Hange was still set on experimenting on titans, but now it was mostly to see if someone would stop them from doing it. The two women had already gotten as far as they could with their research at the moment.

It left Erwin with the plans of getting to Shinganshia without having to tell the higher-ups of why exactly they wanted to reach the ruined city. Emilia had not been able to get much out of the boy called Eren and Levi was unsure if there was any truth to the boys' words.

However, it was the only plan they had at the moment and Erwin had given it a timeline of a year before they would have to change tactics again.

"You're overthinking things again," Emilia said from his right side and Levi glanced at her, noticing how long her hair had grown. It was braided down her back in an elegant way, which she had started doing often.

"Brats like you get in trouble everywhere," he said and put out his cigarette. Eld and Adrian had started going somewhere else to smoke but had not given a reason why. Levi knew Eld had an inkling about something going on, but kept his mouth shut. It was probably to let them speak about their plans.

"I'm not a brat anymore," she said with a small smile, but he knew she was glad that he at least cared in some way of what could happen to her. "You are younger, therefor a brat," he said and she lout out a laugh.

"Should I start calling you old man then? Levi you're what, eight or nine years older than me," he sent her an exasperated look, "Old is stretching it," he answered and she nodded, "so is calling me brat. If I started calling you short in front of your men…" she trailed off and he could understand what she was hinting at.

He was not showing her respect in front of the soldiers she was supposed to be commanding. But it bothered him, because he had always called her a brat. Changing it would change their situation again.

They rarely ate at the same table, they never trained much together anymore and Levi found it hard to admit, but he missed her sarcastic remarks and talent.

"Something has been bothering you," she said, worry showing in her eyes. Levi could agree with her, but he had no idea why he was actually so bothered. She was a soldier and she was doing her job, there should be nothing wrong with it.

"I can't mess up too much if I'm staying behind the walls, I should be worried about you making poor Petra doing extra training again," she said and he was thankful for her changing the subject. Emilia had sensed he had not wanted to talk about it and respected it.

"She needs to learn," he said truthfully and thought of the newest addition to his squad. Petra Ral was a good soldier, but more insecure than he had expected. However, after having seen her not taking any crap from Oluo, he had not thought about taking her off the squad again.

"And she will, but she's the type of girl who isn't good at taking insults. Instruct her, but keep the harsher words to yourself or shout them at me," and he knew she was right. Petra was more like a young woman than Emilia had been. She had been cold and a quick learner, which resulted in his harsher comments being ignored.

Emilia knew him well enough to say that and Levi wondered what else she knew. Had she noticed the small details about him that he had noticed about her? It was possible.

"Here," she said and took out a small woolen pouch from her pocket, "I know you're going down to drink tea when I leave. Use these, I found them when I was visiting the kids. Rare and not many know they help you sleep without dreams," she jumped down from the ledge and before he could stop her, she had left.

Inside the pouch there was small dried leaves, they smelled like cooking herbs, but he had not seen them before. So instead of drinking his normal tea she had supplied him with, he tried the new leaves.

Levi could not remember when he had last slept more than three hours, but he woke up the next morning after having slept nearly six hours without any trouble.

* * *

…

Five months later, Levi found himself staring up at the ceiling, waiting for Emilia to return from visiting the cadets in training. "You should relax, she'll be back soon," it was Hange who spoke and Levi ignored her. As if she took it as an invitation, she sat down across from him.

"You two are close," she remarked and Levi turned his head towards her, one eyebrow raised. "Come on, when did it happen?" and he truly had no idea what she was talking about.

"What are you referring to, woman?" he asked and Hange gaped, looking like a fish out of water. "You two aren't together? Damn I thought for sure I'd win the bet," her words made him sit deathly still.

"What bet?" he asked, his voice cold as ice. She laughed nervously and stood, "Uh, well Erwin, Mike and I have been betting on something completely unrelated to you. Bye!" and then she ran off leaving Levi to rethink her statement.

He had been with a woman before he joined the military, but back then, he had done it while intoxicated and the thought disgusted him. With the background he came from, he had seen what relationships could do to people and the physical aspect had been something he never truly desired.

It had been something he had tried more than once, yes, but it was not worth it with how he felt after. His mother had been physical with strangers and it had ruined her life. Left her with a child she could not care for and left him without a parent.

Levi was allowing his mind to grow more depressed and right when he was about to go out and train to work off the frustration, the door opened and he relaxed like nothing had happened.

Emilia walked in with a small smile in his direction and sat down by the table and felt the teakettle. It was cold and she frowned before looking at him, "what's wrong?" she asked quickly and he just stared at her. Emilia had managed to calm him down by walking into the room and when he realized that, he got up and walked away.

He did not go to the roof and the next day, he spent the day in his office doing paperwork and ate dinner in there. She came by twice, where he had told her that he was busy and that she had to see someone else. He felt like a coward and he was not entirely sure why he was ignoring her.

Yes, he had changed when she walked in, but it did not mean it was because of her. It would be because he had been forced to focus on something else and that had been the thing that helped. It was hard to explain, but Levi felt that he should stay away from the short woman. She was invading his life more than he needed her to.

* * *

…

Almost three months had passed with him doing everything he could to avoid being alone with Emilia and it had worked after just a few weeks. She had taken the hint and left him alone. Now they had not spoken a word to each other outside of a meeting for so long that others were starting to notice.

"Please tell me it wasn't what I said," Hange pleaded when she entered his office without knocking. Levi looked up from his work, "what?" he asked and she nearly threw herself over the desk. "Your reason fro ignoring the poor woman! I've never seen her like this. Remember when she first joined us, it's like that again. She's not eating, not sleeping and Adrian is asking if she can be taken off duty for a while," Levi felt as if her words were burying underneath several heavy rocks.

He had forced himself not to notice her, look at her or think about her. It seemed as if he had not considered how she would take it and with no one to order her around like he did, she had gone down a dark road.

The words on the page in front of him were moving around and Levi hesitantly let go of the paper and stood. Hange said nothing when he walked past her out of the office and up the stairs. He arrived at the hallway where both he and several other higher ranked soldiers had their private rooms.

Her door was closed, but he somehow knew she was in there. It was the middle of the day and that alone was unusual. He knocked once and entered when he heard a muffled word. On the bed in the corner, there was a huddle underneath the blankets and besides the bed stood a bowl of untouched soup.

"Adrian, get out," the voice sounded so tired and Levi closed the door behind him and walked closer to the bed. "I'm not Adrian," he said in a calm voice and sat down on the chair. There was a visible movement underneath the blanket when he spoke and fingers pulled down the top.

Her dark hair was not dirty, but her eyes seemed so strange to look at now that he had not looked into them for months. "Why are you here?" she asked and he sighed, leaning his head into his hands.

"I don't know why I left," he said, knowing she would understand he did not mean leaving the building, but meant leaving their companionship. "Then you don't need a reason to come back," she turned around and had her back to him, but she started to shake a little.

"Emilia, turn around," he said, hoping it did not sound too much like an order. She did not move and when the shaking continued, he stood and tried to turn her. When he saw her face, he let go immediately and swallowed.

She was biting down on her lip to stay quiet while tears slowly ran down her face. "I did this," he said softly and then she sat up quickly. "Yes, you made me sad. Are you happy now?" her eyes met his and Levi did not move.

"I haven't felt anything for three months," he said and she let out a snort, "well then go back to your unfeeling inhumane existence!" he knew she rarely meant her insults, but this time, she truly wanted him gone. Levi was split between doing what he wanted and what she wanted.

"I did not mean for this to happen!" he felt his temper rise when he looked at her again. She had lost weight and he was angry with her for not taking care of herself. She was leading a squad and her inability to care for herself showed poor leadership skills.

"Then what was your plan Levi? To never speak again? I though you were clever," she hid her face in her hands and Levi pried them away so that he could look at her face. "My plan was to figure out what the fuck was going on," he said and she wrestled in his tight grip.

"Going on with what?!" she was nearly shouting and Levi felt his lips move before he had thought the answer through, "With us. With this," she stopped moving and looked at him. He knew his face was telling her more than he had ever allowed her to see before. Seconds passed by and he let go of her wrists, thinking that she might get up and leave the room.

However, when he closed his eyes and tried to think of a way to salvage the situation, her arms went around him and she pulled her body close to his. Emilia moved slowly, slow enough to let him push her away if he wanted, but the thought did not cross his mind.

His own arms moved to her back and he could not remember the last time someone had embraced him. It was not something he did, not even when Hange gave him an unwanted hug, had it felt anywhere close to what he was experiencing.

This was entirely new and frightening.

"You're a stupid, stupid man," she said against his shoulder and Levi did not disagree with her. He did not know how long they stayed like that, but when Emilia fell asleep against his shoulder, he had gently moved her to lie down. The problem was that she had refused to let go, even in her sleep and Levi soon opened his own eyes to find out he had fallen asleep too.

It was dark outside and Emilia was still fast asleep, not holding on to him anymore. He was instead holding on to her. Surprised by what had happened, Levi got off the bed and went to his own room and took a shower. Wearing new clothes and feeling clean, he went downstairs and made tea while looking for what had been leftover from dinner. He had just put something on a plate when the door opened and Emilia entered, hair wet from her own bath.

"A-are we speaking again?" she asked and to answer her question, he pushed the plate towards her and went to get another teacup. When she started eating, it was hard for her to stop. He knew she had probably eaten some food while they had not been speaking, but he knew it had been close to nothing. Just enough for her to get by.

"I'll be training you for the next month," he said and took the cold piece of boiled vegetable she had pushed aside. He had never shared a plate with someone before and normally, the thought of it would disturb him. Now that he was doing it, he hardly noticed it.

"I know my actions have been less than appropriate," she said and sipped her tea. Levi nodded once, "you're lucky Adrian went to Hanji with his concerns," he said and a small smile graced her features, "she yelled at you?" and again, he nodded.

"She may seem a bit crazy, but she cares more than she lets on," Emilia said and Levi agreed. No matter what bet the glasses wearing woman had bet on, she would put others before it. "She's rubbed off on you," he said with a grimace and she shrugged, "you don't complain when I act like you," she said and he met her eyes, "why should I?"

* * *

…

Levi glanced back at the closing gate. Emilia was staying behind with her squad again and this time, he knew they had left things between them on a good note. They had talked the previous night and she was looking forward to seeing Eren, Armin and Mikasa trying to act like real soldiers.

She would train the Garrison Regimen tomorrow and it meant he did not have to worry about her out in the field. It left him with an odd sense of comfort.

They had been on their horses for hours before Erwin called for a stop, someone had sent up an emergency flare far behind them. Too far to be the rear group and Levi felt his mind start turning and his heart beat a little faster.

"Captain?" It was Petra who asked and he turned his head and saw Eld stare towards where the flare had disappeared, "It's not followed up by anything," he said and Levi jumped back onto his horse and then saw the one thing he had not even considered a possibility.

A black flare.

"It's the gate," Erwin said by his side and Levi knew what he had said, but suddenly could not remember having heard the Commander speak. "Levi, take your squad and go!" the order was given, but he had already seen Eld give a similar order to the three others. They were off in seconds.

"What's going on?" Gunther asked, "I don't know," Petra shouted back, but Oluo and Eld kept silent. Levi knew they had seen that something was going on and now they probably had an idea of what had been planned.

Within twenty minutes, they saw the group of four soldiers coming towards them and Levi felt his stomach drop when he saw Sarah. Blood on her clothes and a wild look in her eyes. "Captain Levi!" she shouted when she saw Levi. "Trost. You have to get to her, Adrian is dead and Miller is unconscious. She said something about mission shield as a one-man job. It was the colossal and Adrian was with Miller I-," she was sobbing like a mess, but Levi shook his head and tried to keep his mind from betraying him.

"Take her to Erwin, we are going on ahead," he ordered the rear riders and started riding towards the wall again. "Fuck," Eld said and Levi nodded. They were a little more than an hour away from the wall and Sarah had spent time getting to the point where she was.

"Captain please tell me she isn't doing something suicidal," Oluo said, panic in his voice, but Levi could only answer with the truth, "there is a high probability that she is dead," and to his own ears, his voice sounded hollow.

"Is Captain Allard in danger?" Petra asked and Levi was glad Eld decided to answer her. "Wall Rose has been compromised, Adrian is dead and Emilia is attempting to make sure nothing happens to the people like what happened to her own family in Shinganshia," they were pushing their horses to the limit, but Levi knew they could not take a break. He had to figure out what had happened.

"Captain Allard was in Shinganshia?" Petra was indeed still new, but her questions could come at another time. "Her family was torn apart in front of her," Eld said stiffly and that shut Petra up for the rest of the time they spent on their horses.

Levi knew he had managed to get ahead a bit, but when he reached the wall just in time to see a large rock cover the hole, he wasted no time hoisting himself over and looking down on the impossible.

A cadet, pulling another cadet out of a titan and now realizing that there was one coming towards them. Levi had no idea who they were, but he quickly killed the titan and turned to them. "This is where you tell me exactly what is going on," he said and two seconds after, his squad hit the ground around him.

"Sir, we have managed to fill the breach in the wall," a woman wearing the Garrison uniform said and Levi turned his attention to her. The cadet who had been pulled out of the titan had passed out and when he looked around, he gestured to them. His squad quickly helped the cadets with getting their unconscious comrade on top of the wall.

It was when the girl said, "Eren!" to the boy that his head spun around quickly, "Armin, he's unconscious, we have to do something," she tried shaking the boy, but Armin pulled her away. "Mikasa, he's exhausted," he said and Levi did not doubt whom they were.

"Report," he said to the woman with the gray hair. "After Trost was successfully evacuated and Eren Yeager was recovered from a titan, a plan was made to use his strength to seal up the hole," she had said something he needed to know and nothing that he desperately needed to know.

"What of Captain Allard?" his question came out quickly and he knew it surprised the woman, but the way her face changed told him what he had already known. A sob behind him made Levi look over his shoulder at the blonde boy, who was crying openly.

"Emilia died," he said, a lost expression on his face.

The girl called Mikasa was trying to console the blonde, but to Levi, the world was slowly coming apart. The wall he stood on seemed like it was about to crumble beneath him and he could not feel his own heart beat in his chest.

"She can't be dead," it was Eld's voice that sounded, but it reminded Levi of a wounded animal trying to escape death. The woman from the Garrison Regimen looked between them and seemed to understand they had a connection to the dead Captain.

"She saved Trost. Had is not been for Captain Allard's sacrifice, the city would not have been evacuated in time," a sacrifice. Emilia had truly died and Levi had to shift his weight because his balance was off.

"What of her body?" Oluo asked and now the girl stood, leaving Armin to cry alone. "She was unconscious and Eren pulled her out of a titan that was about to eat her. He got eaten instead," she looked back to the unconscious cadet and Levi knew that there was something strange going on.

In the horizon, Levi saw the cloud of dust telling him that Erwin was returning with all of the soldiers whom had been out. No one spoke as they came closer and when they were finally down by the wall and the Commander came up, he gave Levi a long look. Erwin understood what had happened.

Hange was looking between them all before she took of her glasses and walked further down the wall, standing alone to look over Trost. Pixis and several other men were coming their way and when they finally reached them, Erwin had already ordered his men to clear Trost of the few remaining titans.

"Commander Erwin, I must congratulate you. Had it not been for your soldier, many people would have died today," the bald man seemed to think this would make them ignore the one thing Levi could think about.

Emilia would never smile again. He would never hear her voice again and in that second, he felt his heart beat in his chest, even though he wished it would never do that again.

Sarah, who had been injured was not taking part of clearing Trost, she was instead sobbing uncontrollably while Eld held her upright.

"I need to see the body," Levi said and his words got everyone's attention. Commander Pixis gave him a strange look before he gestured to the woman with the gray hair. "Take Commander Erwin and Levi to their fallen comrades," he said and Levi shared a look with Erwin. The blonde had been filled in on what had happened, but Levi had not listened to what had been spoken.

All he knew was that the unconscious boy had been willing to sacrifice himself so that her body would not be eaten by a titan. An act that in his mind gave him a reason to make sure the brat would not be killed by the Military Police.

"Captain Allard killed thirty-nine titans, shall I get the two cadets she ordered to go with her and handle the extra equipment?" Levi ignored the question and Erwin was the one who agreed. They had reached the inner part of wall Maria where people were still looking scared and lost.

Many were injured, but when they saw Erwin and Levi, something strange happened. They started to thank them, bow their heads and a mother with a crying baby ignored the soldiers that tried to hold her back.

"Commander Erwin, I can never thank the Survey Corps enough. Your soldier saved my life," she said while clinging to her child. Erwin said something back, but Levi knew they were nearing the place where all the bodies were kept.

A doctor came towards them, a grim look on his face. "Sir, we have kept your soldiers bodies away from the others. Let me take you to them," the man said and Erwin walked in front of Levi to the back of the building where two bodies were covered with a white sheet of fabric.

Adrian was the first body to be shown, but when the doctor pulled the sheet away from the second body, Levi managed to put a hand on the wall to support himself.

There she was, small, frail, and with a content look on her face. Almost as if she had welcomed death in her last seconds alive.

"My condolences," the doctor said and left them to strand with the two bodies. Erwin put a hand on his shoulder, but Levi shook it off and walked closer to the body on the ground. He sunk to his knees besides her, reaching out and then withdrawing his hand.

He did not know how long he stayed kneeling on the ground, but when the door opened again, Levi managed to look at the two cadets who saluted. They looked like they had been through hell and back again.

"You two were with Captain Allard?" Erwin asked and one nodded, "Captain Allard ordered us to stay on the wall and not interfere. We disobeyed orders when she went down," the short one said and the taller gave him a guilty look.

"Had we interfered sooner, maybe-" Erwin held up a hand to stop him from talking and Levi knew that if they had interfered, Emilia would have tried to protect them instead of fulfilling her plan.

"I thank you for your work," Erwin said and both of them saluted again before leaving. Now that they were alone again, Levi got to his feet.

"Her death wont be in vain," he said and Erwin looked at him in surprise and walked closer. Levi rolled up Emilia's sleeve to show what he had seen while the two cadets were there. Erwin looked at the letters carved into her skin and let out a hollow chuckle.

"She never gave up," he said and Levi nodded because on her arm, Emilia had carved in the information they needed.

 _T 104_

"They are cadets," Erwin said and Levi nodded before taking out a knife and making the numbers on her arm unreadable. "You are sure this Eren Yeager is not who she was speaking of?" he asked and Levi nodded, "she was dead or unconsious when he was eaten. She could not have known," he said and Erwin sighed.

"You're with me?" he asked and Levi turned his back to her body and met the eyes of his commander. "Always," he said and the two walked back outside.

Hange, Mike and his squad were waiting for them when they came out and Levi looked to his squad. "You can go see her," he said and Eld was the first to pass by him, followed closely by Oluo and Gunther.

Petra was looking down at her feet, her eyes red while she had an arm around Sarah. "Miller is never going to be a soldier again," she said and Levi pitied the woman. She had lost her entire squad in one day.

"I understand you were the one who trained her," Pixis was speaking to him and Levi glared at the man, "she was once my subordinate," he said and the bald man nodded, seeming to understand she had been important to Levi.

"Commander Erwin, shall we? We have a lot to discuss," and with that, the two commanders left the soldiers standing outside the building where the bodies were kept. Hange moved and Levi did not push her away when she bowed down slightly to put her head on his shoulder. She showed all the emotion he could not.

* * *

…

Levi watched the funeral in silence. It had been made into a spectacle and there were too many people. Most of them had never spoken to Emilia before, but they had still come to pay their respects.

Never in the history of the Military had so many civilians shown up to one of their funerals. But no one had done what Emilia had done. He looked to his left where his squad and Sarah were standing. They as well as him, were in the front to see the casket being lowered into the ground. Emilia was being buried and not burned like some of the other soldiers were.

Darius Zackly was standing besides Erwin, a tired look on his face and Levi knew that both men were working overtime because of the upcoming trial. A trial the Survey Corps would win, because Erwin was prepared to use Emilia's name and connection to Eren Yeager, should it be necessary.

"It is with a grave heart I stand here today. Another life has been lost in our fight against titans but instead of remembering Emilia Allard for her kills, we will remember her for who she saved. The savior of Trost will not be forgotten and to show how grateful we are for what she has done, we award her with the title 'Shield of Humanity'" Zackly's speech made many of the people clap, but Levi kept his eyes on the casket.

He stood there for a long time, longer than anyone else and when the rain started to fall, he realized he was alone. Levi had been staring at the black headstone for hours without even reading what had been carved.

 _Captain Emilia Allard_

 _828 – 850_

 _Survivor from Shinganshia_

 _Savior of Trost_

 _Shield of Humanity_

His fingers touched the wet stone and glided down to the embedded medal. She had never wanted a medal for anything. Emilia had always believed that in the end, the medal did not mean anything. What mattered were the people who had been saved.

"You managed to do the one thing you strived for," he said to the stone and his eyes prickled, "you stopped them from repeating what happened in Shinganshia," his hand glided off the stone and he turned his back on the grave.

He would need to speak to Erwin about the upcoming trial. No matter how little hope humanity had in this fight, Levi would not allow her death to be in vain. He had not expected another death to hit him nearly as much as Isabel and Furlan's deaths had. But Levi knew now that Emilia had meant more to him.

She had not been just another soldier or his subordinate. Emilia had been his companion and one of the few people he would consider calling a friend. And even now, the term 'friend' did not seem to be enough to describe what he had shared with her.

Swallowing hard, Levi took out the thing he had kept to himself. The small silver box that was dented and full of scratches. The thing felt cold in his hand, but when he looked down at it and opened it, he closed it again quickly.

He had something he could keep to remember her by and in a way, he knew this small metal box already meant more to him than it should. It had been the thing they did together, they went up to roof and smoked.

Levi felt his chest hurt and he ran a hand through his wet hair. Why did the world have to be so cruel?

* * *

...

The end.


End file.
